How to Find Belonging In Life By Communicating With Your Ancestors | Whole Lineage Healing™

How to Find Belonging In Life By Communicating With Your Ancestors

What if I told you the root cause of your feelings of loneliness and not quite belonging or having any deep connections actually lies in your ancestry?

Let's work on that together in this blog.

Hey, there, I'm Ash Johns.

I'm a psycho-spiritual life coach and ancestral healer.

And I work with women like you who are out to unearth and heal unseen generational patterns that are stopping you from creating a life of freedom, love, and abundance that's aligned to your desires and your destiny.

The Craving To Belong

I'm so sure that we've all had moments of feeling like we didn't belong or we didn't fit in. I know I have, have had moments of where sisterhood or friendship felt more painful or untrusting or full of betrayal than it did giggles and hugs and deep secrets and, I don't know, belonging. What I hear all the time from women who work with me who are out to break generational patterns in their lives and in their families is that they often question where they belong or who they belong to, simply because they are doing things differently. They are embarking on a path in life that not anyone in their immediate family has done before and so they feel a sense of judgment, they feel a sense of being different and separate than others. Let me tell y'all, that's actually not true.

The truth is that belonging is a real and required need of all humans. We all need to feel a sense of home. We all need to feel a sense of connection, belonging, respect, of being seen, recognized and loved. When we're not getting that sense of belonging, it creates all kinds of imbalances in the quality of our lives, in our wellbeing and our psyches, and obviously how we move around in the world.

Would you rather watch this article instead of reading it? Enjoy the video version below.

After watching or reading this article, the behind the scenes of making this video on my free private podcast stream (plus all the bloopers and personal stories making it) : https://bit.ly/insidersprivatepod

Whole Lineage Healing™: Healing The Need To Belong 

I want to talk about a couple things of how ancestral healing and doing Whole Lineage Healing™ really helps you heal that lack of belonging and really brings you into a whole sense of being connected to people, places and things. First thing is I just want to let you know that we actually aren't the first people in our lineages or in our families to pursue a better life, whatever that better life means to you, but I tend to work with women who are like, "You know what? I'm called to something more. I'm not going to settle for this, I desire something else, I'm being called to something different, but there's no one in my family who's done that. The more that I pursue these things, the more that my people are looking at me like I'm nuts or I'm crazy, or I'm unstable," or whatever it is that they're saying.

The first thing I want to say is when you start doing Whole Lineage Healing™ and having a relationship with your ancestors, you realize that you're not actually the first, you're just the first in a very long time. We come into our lineages and our lives who bring forth magic, to reclaim some things that've been lost, to further our legacies in a way that benefits us and also the world as we continue to evolve this planet.
Know that you belong to your ancestors. There are people that you do not know beyond one, two, three generations who are rooting for you, who are so proud of you, who are grateful that you chose to belong to their lineage and be birthed into this family of people that are way older and way longer than just your immediate family members.
Realize that when you do ancestral healing, you open yourself up to connecting to others who have guidance based on their lives, they have pursued something also that is different or not status quo. You can tap into that wisdom by being in a relationship with your ancestors. That's how we eliminate this idea that you don't belong, by creating a life that you love.

Just a little note that it's so important, that when you do Whole Lineage Healing™, you are working with ancestors who are doing their healing. They have released some of their pains, their traumas, their wounds, their unfulfilled desires from their living life, so that they can best advise you in what you're choosing to pursue in your life. This is so important because if you don't work with these kind of ancestors, you'll start to get into this communicating and connecting with ancestors, but it's not really ancestral healing. They could be advising you and supporting you based on things that don't actually align to the innovation that you're called to bring in your own life.

So just a note that know you're not the first to pursue something better or more, but you also want to work with ancestors who get it, who are here to support you and the expansiveness of your existence, not the restriction or the survival energy around your life. Okay?

Ancestral Advising

Your ancestors are advisors, they are not dictators. That's another reason why you'll feel more belonging by doing ancestral healing and doing Whole Lineage Healing™, because you're here to innovate, not just regurgitate what they know, but you're not the first person in your family to go after something higher, better, or more.

Obviously, it goes without saying that you are never alone. When you do ancestral healing and you start to connect with those who came before you, no matter what happens in this world with living family members or others, you always have a sense, an energetic sense of their presence, that you are protected, that you have been prayed for, that you are loved, that you are being guided in a way that you're just never alone. That's just it, that's the truth.

It's not that we just die and dissipate out into the ether. They have a vested interest in you doing and being well because that extends the legacy of your lineage and allows them to choose to reincarnate if they choose to do so. I'm getting super, super woo, but all of us have felt a sense of someone around us or have had a dream that someone is still around after they have transitioned. When you do ancestral healing, you really get to experience that in a very tangible way that benefits your actual, tangible, living life.

By doing this, realizing you're not alone, you actually get to access the ability to harness your ancestral wisdom, the ability to discern what is good for you and what is not. That's all coming from the healing that's happening in your lineage and with the advising of your ancestors. It helps to alleviate binary thinking that creates isolation, that creates separatism and also creates negative experience of neo-tribalism, that it's us versus them or only you need to survive, when really it's very abundant to include all of us and have some systems and organization that make sure everybody's needs get met. You are never alone and Whole Lineage Healing™ allows you to realize that.

Before we go further, I just want to take a little pause and a little pulse to see how this information is resonating with you. I know sometimes when we are doing personal development, we're pursuing our dreams, we're going after more connections, more love, more money, the home, the car, whatever tangible thing that you're looking for, just a sense of wholeness and wellbeing and confidence in yourself, you might feel like you're the first person doing that kind of work.

I know for sure people in my family were not doing workshops and seminars and retreats and reading all the books that I have done and sitting at the feet of elders and hiring coaches. You might feel different just by your curiosity of bettering yourself, but share with me in the comments which one of these ideas most gives you a sense of calm, a sense of connection, a sense of being understood. Is it that you realize you're never alone and that could be very soothing for you in moments of making big choices that are different than everyone around you, or is it also that, hey, you're not the first person to have a divorce or choose not to, or make a major decision in your life and pursue something better and that's more nourishing for your lifestyle?

Share in the comments.

These Ideas Are Not Yours To Bear

Here's where we get into the juicy part.

These ideas of lack of belonging or being excluded actually aren't even yours anyway. That's a reason why ancestral healing can heal this idea of not having a sense of belonging in your life. The way that you find that belonging is to allow your ancestors to heal their wounds around being ostracized or cast out of the community. All of us come from old cultures of people. Back then, and even still now, let's be honest, if we look at social media, as soon as you say something that people disagree with, you get what? Canceled, which I do not believe in being canceled. Give people a moment to express and if you disagree, that's okay, we all can live.

But we have energetic, psychic, spiritual, psychological, and literally cellular memories inside of us of our ancestors being thrown out or separated out of fear, out of shame, out of being disgruntled, out of whatever happened or whatever went down. Us humans have evolved to have this right, wrong, in or out binary expression.

We are so afraid of being on the not great end of that. I don't know how to say it any other way, but the receiving end of being thrown out or ostracized or shamed. We will do anything to protect ourselves, to avoid that type of spiritual and psychic wound, because back then it meant that your needs weren't going to be met, back then it meant that you would actually have physical harm, back then you would have this deep sense of shame not just over your own life, but over your whole family.

These patterns of exclusion are reasons why we still feel a sense of lack of belonging or lack that we're included, or we're so afraid of making a mistake that will induce that kind of experience into our lives. When you do Whole Lineage Healing™, you have the opportunity for your ancestors to release those wounds and those traumas and those fears so that you can see that you belong in this physical realm, no matter what you do, no matter who you are.

Based on our ancestors, our psyches and our bodies at a cellular level, we can recall that trauma, which means that we need to heal it in our lineages so we can see it, the belonging that we do have in our actual lives.

Getting to this core wound at the level of your ancestors and embodying the healing in your life allows true leaders and change makers to step into your voice, your point of view, your power and truly your truth so that you can lead whatever it is that you're called to do in your destiny in this world and help evolve our humanity. If I didn't trust myself and that what I'm doing will create more healing in the world, if I just stifled that away because I've had ancestors who were left out, cast out, told they were wrong, separated from and just abandoned, I wouldn't be able to show up and do this work that I'm doing today, because it is different. It's part practical, part psychological, part embodiment, part spiritual.

Finding Belonging Through Whole Lineage Healing™

Finally, a lot of us have wounds relating to sisterhood and friendship. When we do Whole Lineage Healing™, you're going to find belonging associated with other women. This feminine wound, this woman wound, this maternal wound, this mother wound that tells us to be in comparison and jealousy, having to fight our sisters, fight other women, is not true. It has been passed on based on survival. We've been groomed to compete and one up each other based on survival. These are all survival techniques, this is all our animalistic brain that hasn't allowed itself to come back to homeostasis, of realizing that we are in harmony and in relationship with every single person, place or thing on this planet, including other women or other feminine energy bodies.

Many of us have been told by our mothers and other women that we have to be jealous of them, that we can't trust each other, that we need to watch our backs and all these weird things around sisterhood and friendship. Again, it's not true. The roots of comparison syndrome and being not enough is in your lineage, it is not in you. It's just playing out in your life. If you want to have a greater sense of belonging and drop the mean girl drama and cycles, you need to do Whole Lineage Healing™.

If you'd like to explore ancestral healing, your belonging, love, connection, and just the abundance of freedom that you have in this life that is your responsibility to harness, you're definitely going to want to explore ancestral healing or my method of Whole Lineage Healing™. You can start that journey and just explore it a little bit by downloading my free ebook, Lay of the Land.

It's going to take you through eight approaches or pathways to exploring ancestral healing so you can see which lane is for you.

  Download my free, 14 page ebook.
"Lay of the Lands: 8 Paths to Freedom through Ancestral Healing".  

After you read through the ebook, definitely share which of these paths resonate with you. You can tag me on Instagram @ashinspires or reach out on my website.

Thank you for joining me today. I hope that this blog served you.

I will be back on a Wednesday with another one.

And in the meantime, I hope you and your people are very well.

I honor your path and life and may you find all of the freedom, all of the wealth, all of the love, and all of the abundance for yourself and for your people.

with love, devotion and trust on my path,

Ash x