release your expectations
Truth be told, while I'm completely over renting and longing to plant "permanent" roots in South Florida,
I'm not ready to start the home buying process just yet so I was completely blindsided when I went to pay my rent through the online payment portal and found my lease rate had increased drastically and without notice.
Ok, word.
For a split moment I was enraged, annoyed and already beginning to breath heavier out of frustration this misunderstanding and mistake was going to take time out of my day, my peace, my focus.
I sat in that energy for a few moments, letting it slowly spread over my body—my lungs both expanding and contracting seemingly at the same time, heat rising to my temples, eye rolls moving like ocean waves.
As the energy expanded, I began calling in my highest self and guiding ancestors with the greatest negotiation skills. I knew the property manager would want to argue with me about the lease renewal agreement that hadn't ever been delivered to my door. I knew he was going to attempt to exert his power over me, convincing me this error was my fault for not being proactive about the renewal process and notification requirement. I knew I would have to stand calm, still and strong and let the battle be fought for me instead of filling my body and energy with aggression.
In that moment, I decided I'd do something I've probably never intentionally done in entire life:
attract what I wanted without exerting much of any energy towards or for it, at all.
I took a moment to release the tensions I held in my body about going to the leasing office.
I took deep breaths to regulate my nervous system so I could trust myself to 'be' instead of 'do'.
I reminded self that I deeply respect the masculine and that I'm most devoted to when I remain in my feminine.
I said my prayers and petitions, declaring that whatever the outcome, it would be in my favor.
And I let go of any expectations of how the conversation would go or how it needed to be.
With less external control, but feeling completely supported and grounded, I made my way into the unknown to confront my community manager and bring the situation to his awareness for resolution.
Upon entering his office, I felt the unease in the air—his eyes were averting my own, he immediately went into the facts of when notices are sent out, he said he'd have to verify my claim of never receiving a lease renewal...and the whole time I sat and witnessed the unfolding happening before my eyes.
Less than 10 mins later, I was presented with the option to renew my lease, without increase (a $700 savings), at an extended offer of 18 months, with an apology, and with some special discounts added to my account. This was straight joy to my spirit and soul to know I was given what I wanted and so much more!
I learned 5 days later my fellow neighbors weren't so blessed or accommodated.
Thing is, generational healing directly with your ancestors is kinda the same.
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When folks are exploring if they are ready for ancestral healing work, they usually come to me with all the expectations of what they want healed, changed and transformed in their lives as a result because of all the things that are wrong, not right and painful. I don't knock this, it's good to hold an intention just like I did in my lease renewal debacle.
But where they get hung up is when they begin to try to control the process, or dictate the healing happening in our lineages and in our lives.
That's where we go wrong.
When we hold hard expectations of our healing journeys—whether personal and ancestral—we remove the magic of what can be if we just trust, show up and hold steady. We also are only operating from limited perspective, focusing on relieving symptoms because we're unaware of the root wound.
Ancestral healing gets to the root, core wound and is a collaborative process that requires varying degrees of participation on our parts, and also from the ancestors themselves, otherwise we're trying to carry the weight of generational healing all on our own, which creates further fragmentation and less wholeness...
...negating the purpose of ancestral connection, healing and reclamation!
Now, I know what your mind is thinking right now, it's all like "but if I release expectations how do I know I'll get what I need?"
And the answer is this: it's destined otherwise you wouldn't be interested in the work, wouldn't hear the calling, and the journey is always working in your favor.
All you need to do is hold the intention, show up and trust.
Thanks for being here.
with love and devotion to my path,
Ash x
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