a few words about lineage, love, and falling in love again

In 2016 I fell in love again.

This time with a guy I met while living in Bali. He was just like I like 'em—taller than I, muscular (but not too much), chocolate brown, "soft aggressive" as I like to call it, kind hearted, cool minded, and super down to earth.

An instant connection.

We spent the first 48 hours of knowing each other in-sync and on an adventure—me, ditching delegating work to my team; him, pretending he wasn't feeling well so he could hang out with me instead of doing extreme sports with his travel bros.

We were Black in Bali, basking in each other's energy and desires as if we'd known each other before.

Turns out we did. Spiritually.

And right there was the beginning of a 3 year love affair with whom I thought would be my foreva eva eva...

But "forever was a minute, and eternity was a second" as Alicia sings.

Reminiscing about love that's come and gone made me think about the love in our lives, families, communities and lineages that also...comes and goes.

Sometimes I'm incredibly proud of and in love with myself, who I am, the essence of my existence...

Sometimes I'm not and have some brutal things to say...including not saying anything at all (if you feel me, you know the self-inflicted silent treatment is brutal. It usually looks like overworking and avoiding my feeling and calls for help 🤪).

Sometimes I'm in awe of the people I belong to and come from, amazed at their ingenuity and resiliency...

Sometimes I'm like WTF, and how did "this" even ever happen!? And how does "it" keep happening?! How did ya'll function like that!? How are ya'll functioning like that?! (no judgement, just call to look at facts for change)

[fill "this" and "it" in for whatever you know is fucked up about your fam and folks. no disrespect, and again no judgement. we're all just...humans]

Thing is, the energy of Love moves exactly like a song.

When I guide my private clients through tuning into their lineages (often for the first time ever!) to see where we should start the healing and embodiment work, we're literally sensing into where and how the Love lies most potently in the line—like the high point of a song—so we can start the work with allies and the energy of support, if you will.

Why?

Well, because just like you and I, the ancestors have experienced things that have lessened their connection to Love.

Moments where they have less faith and openness, and way more armor and intellect. (nearly flat)

Traumas that have weakened their memory to divine truth. (dips low)

But there are ALWAYS areas where it's really abundant and bright. (high, supportive and accessible)

Sometimes it just takes some time to find and connect with an ancestor guide from that space.

My ancestors taught me a lot about reclaiming and falling open into Love through my last love. They asked me to be the face of the healing that's happening in the lineage around partnership, companionship, femininity, masculinity, power, structure and flow, and most of all...TRUST.

Ugh.

It's been an ongoing practice since the awakening, request and agreement.

And it's been hella hard and heartbreaking, but also incredibly juicy, affirming and easy.

What they wanted me to know is that the past doesn't have to be the future.

​But the only way for that to be true is to...go back, address, clean up, then move forward.

I've made great strides.

As have my clients.

So fam, friends, followers and fans, I'm here to remind and invite you into the idea that we really do need to go back in time, in order to move forward together.

That with loving collaboration, we can all heal our pains around love...in whatever form "it" presents itself.

And in whatever ways the lack of it has affected us (and continually does today).

Yes, some may see me as "single" now.

But really I'm in a love drenched relationship with myself, heart, spirit guides, ancestors and my desires.

Instead of looking for new love, I have been called back in time to reclaim the infinite amount of love that's already, and will always be, mine and ours.

I want the same for you and yours.

Because when we get ahll'up in that, gather it all up, there's so much overflowing that anyone and everyone will want some...

and from that space, it wont take from you to do the choosing and engage in some sharing again ;)

with love and devotion to my path,

Ash x